Maddy

Maddy isolated herself at school and just focused on her school work. She was sitting in her chair gazing out the window when she jolted out her thoughts when her teacher called her name.

"Maddy just because you pick up your grades doesn't mean you get to wander off in La La Land in my classroom."

"Sorry..."

She said lowly. Her friend Lexa looked at her then down at the paper on her desk. She grabbed it and wrote on it.

Lexa: What's wrong with you?
Maddy: Nothin, I just don't feel like talking.
Lexa: You never do, ever since the break.
Maddy: You can't help me, so why worry about it.
Lexa: Because we're BEST FRIENDS and that's what BEST FRIENDS do!
Maddy: Don't worry okay, I'm fine.
Lexa: No you're not. You don't even act the same. I'll just leave you alone then.
Maddy: Okay.
Lexa: We can't all fight battles by ourselves. We need people just like people need us.

She passed the note to Maddy then moved her seat. Maddy read it and became furious. I need someone and everyone I know just walks out, treats me like shit or treats me good because they're getting paid! Maddy grabbed her stuff and headed towards the door.

"Maddy Samuels, where are you going?"

"Home."

She stated walking out the door. She raced down the hallway and into the bathroom. She went into the bathroom stall and cried. Nobody loves Maddy, not even Maddy. What did we do to deserve this? Are we being punished? She tugged on her hair. She flushed the toilet to muffle her cries as girls came in and out of the bathroom. Shawndra came crawling under the door and stood up.

"Girl, you know I'm big. I can't be doing skinny girl shit."

"Shawna.."

"Sorry, what's up? Miss Mayflower called your mother and the other teachers are worried about you."

"So. They're only acting like they care cause they have to."

She huffed looking down into her wet hands. Shawndra walked up to her and grabbed her face. She looked her over then stared into her eyes.

"What happen at home? I see you stay here late for tutorial when you don't even need it, you don't be happy to see the man you once always talked about and now you're sitting here crying which in all four years of me knowing you, you've never cried. What's really good?"

"Shawna, I've been with my parents since I was six, they got custody of us when I was eight and I go to Ghana and my Granny tells me that they better be treating us right cause she's paying the good money! Their love is clearly as real as my father's."

She stated grabbing her book bag. Shawndra stood to the side and sighed watching Maddy storm out of the bathroom. There were girls in the bathroom snickering and laughing, saying "The fat bitch is gay." Maddy turned around and stormed up to them.

"You're both stupid with simple brains! You spread any rumors about us and I'll personally slit your throats and send them to your families."

She looked over the rounded girl and laughed.

"You're one to talk about someone being fat when you look like you live off nothing, but food. You must have low self esteem for you to try and come at someone else, who's much prettier and smaller than you tubby trout."

"And as for you April, don't even get me started on how all the high school boys have ran up in you like you're a 24 hour gas station. Hope you don't think you're cute with your flat chest, flat butt and mashed face. Try again you trouts and leave my friend alone!"

She grabbed Shawndra's hand and dragged her out the bathroom. She pulled her to her locker and snatched it open, so that she could get her things. Stupid Girls. Just dusty and it's always the ugly girls who talk the most trash. Shawndra grabbed her hand and stopped her because she was now punch the locker as she closed it back. Maddy slid down the locker and looked up to her.

"Why doesn't she love me? Is it cause she didn't birth me? She loves Macy!"

"Who is.... What no Maddy, Ma defiantly loves you!"

"Maddy Samuels, your ride is here to pick you up at the front desk."

Said Mrs. Nun over the intercom. She stood up and wiped at her face to get it together. Shawndra passed her a baby wipe and some lotion. She wiped her face as she stared into the hand held mirror.

"I love you, Shawna."

"I love you too, Madison."

They hugged and Maddy walked down the hall to the front desk. She sighed in relief at the sight of QJ. He stood up and walked over to her and hugged her tight.

~~~~~~

"What's up with you, Maddy?"

"Nothing, just want to be alone."

"No, you're going to talk to me and you're going to talk now."

"Does Mommy know...."

"No, she was sleep when the school called."

"Quez, Do you think Mommy really loves us?"

"Yeah, she wouldn't have taken us in if she didn't?"

"What if she did it for money?"

"Oh, you know?"

"What? You know?"

"Yeah, I been knew. Look, it isn't what it seems though. You need to talk to her before you go acting dumb like this."

"What is there to..."

"Maddy, Ma would never be shady like our father. That first Christmas we had, she had a choice to let us stay or send us to Ghana where we would be unhappy. She chose us over starting her own life with just Macy and Pop. As far as the money, she didn't need it or want it, but she took it just in case anything was to come up. You're looking at it from your own eyes and not Ma's. You're wrong and what you said at dinner last week was out of line."

Maddy felt guilt wash over her as the tears fell down her face and dropped into her frozen yogurt. She pushed her hair back and grabbed a napkin to
clean the pieces that got in the treat. QJ rubbed her back. Then where is the money if she loves us? I don't see her spending it on us? Humph, that doesn't mean she loves me tho. She told herself as they made their way out of the ice cream shop.

~~~~~~

Maddy sat on the sofa with her hair everywhere and face in the pillow next to her. She didn't feel like moving and she had a headache from crying all morning into the early evening. She didn't move even when she felt Nicki's hand on the small of her back. She listened as the TV came on and she heard Macy's baby voice. She felt her mother adjust behind her then sighed loudly.

"I know you're woke."

"Um huh."

By the sound of the video and where it was at, she knew her mother had probably been watching the Home Videos all day. She sat up, pushed her hair back and stared at the screen before her. It was Macy's fourth birthday and they were on their way to Monkey Joe's in ATL. Their first time going to the south and she loved it. She looked over at her mother who was staring into the TV as if she was trying to memorize the video word for word.

Maddy stood up and sluggishly walked over to the TV and turned it off. She stood in front of it and exchanged stares with Nic. Since we're both here, I might as well get it off my chest. Nothing she can say will make me stay here with her. She pushed her hair back and stood with her hand on her hips before talking.

"Nicki, Do you love me?"

SB walked into the room and looked at them. He was about to turn when Nicki reached up for him. He stepped over the sofa and sat next to her. She looked at him with a sad look in her face then back to Maddy.

"Do you or do you not?"

"Yes, I do.. Why..?"

"I'm asking the questions."

"Maddy!"

"No, Faree let her speak."

"Then why didn't you tell me about my Granny paying you to keep us? Did you only keep us for our money? Our riches? Huh?"

Nicki looked hurt at her accusations and stood up to walk out. She turned around and looked at Maddy. She let out a small laugh then shook her head as if she found something funny. She thinks this is a joke! I'm starting to hate her!

"Maddy, this, my love, was NEVER about the money! I really love you children and the older you guys get the more you guys slap me in the face for it. I took my time out and hard work into you kids. I gave up a lot for you guys. I don't regret it, but I do regret giving you guys my heart to step on and accuse me of wanting you guys for your money. And for you info.. I never spent a dime of your Grannies money on anything I bought you guys. I put it into a savings bond, so that if anything ever was to happen to me or your dad then you'd have something in case you couldn't get your "riches" from your grandmother. Ha, my fault baby, not yours though."

Nicki stated walking up the stairs. SB looked at Maddy and frowned. She tugged at her hair and cried feeling worse than before. She accused the only person that loved her of not loving her. SB stood up and walked to her.

"Maddy everyone isn't out to hurt you. You can't keep putting up this wall and thinking that everyone, who truly loves you is going to keep trying to knock it down only for you to build it back up."

He squeezed her arm and made his way up the stairs. She threw herself on to the sofa and cried making her headache worse. What did I just do? God I hate myself! She pushed the in button on the TV by mistake and it played the part where Nicki sung to her and told her that she would never leave her. She gripped the pillow and squeezed it shouting into. I'm so stupid. How could I be? She thought until she fell asleep with tears rolling down her face and her palms sweaty. What was to come would hurt or build them all.

[I need comments on both chapters)